Society is Shallow

Hi everyone!

I’ve been terrible at keeping this updated. Life has been busy and though that is no excuse, it doesn’t mean it’s not true. You’d think with life being busy I’d have more to say, but honestly I don’t, because in the long run, my VSG doesn’t feel odd at all anymore. It used to feel like something I had to think about and it no longer does. Instead, the changes have been social, for the most part, and that is not always a great thing.

I noticed about three months out from surgery, when I was starting to look more of an average weight that people treated me different. People working the checkouts at the grocery store were more friendly, baristas at Starbucks were more charming and in general I seemed to grab more attention from strangers around me. Now, I used to believe that weight was no one else’s business and that the world could not possibly believe that someone’s weight made them less of a person. I think, for the most part, in people’s minds and opinions they believe that to be true, but in subconscious thought and action, that don’t. The heavier you are, the less the world sees you and when they are ‘forced’ to see you, they have awful things to say. Is it right? Absolutely not. Is it the truth? Yeah, I think it is.

Since losing 100 lbs, my entire world has opened up. Not only can I climb 60 stories on the stairmaster without breaking into an asthma attack, but I also feel confident at the gym in a pair of shorts. Why? Well, yes, I am more comfortable in my own skin, but also I know that others aren’t seeing me as an offense to their eyes. Maybe they don’t find me attractive or their ‘type’, but I’m not invading their comfortable space. Again, this is not okay. This is not how society should operate. No one should feel the presence of another person is personally offensive because of the way they look. Another person’s value is not in how much they weigh, but the truth is, there’s something like an instinct.

Now, I’ve struggled greatly with the idea of body positivity. I believe that you should learn to understand and love the body you’re in–after all, it’s the only one you have. In some people, that comfort and positivity happens at any weight. I’m a firm believer that it’s a personal thing. I’ve seen some plus size women look so happy and confident in their skin. I’ve also seen girls who are plus size and saying how confident and happy they are and utilizing the eff your body standards hashtag, but you can sense that it’s a hollow response. They don’t always feel it. I don’t think everyone can be body positive at any size. Some people cannot feel that way. I, for example, was never going to feel confident at 100 plus pounds overweight. It never was going to work for me. Now, at 145 pounds? Yeah, I feel damn good and I can be body positive at this weight, but that’s me and my personal journey. No one is the same.

This, of course, does not mean that society is going to accept you at any weight. There’s been some amazing marketing strides made for fashion and beauty that are changing the way we see bodies of different shapes and sizes. There is no such thing as a one size fits all and they’re starting to admit to that. It doesn’t mean it will all just turn around and it doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, but it’s happening.

What’s the point of this blog post? Not sure. Maybe I’m saying you should find your comfort zone. Maybe that means you are okay at 50, 100, 150 pounds overweight for a medical healthy weight. Maybe that means you have to accept that losing 100 pounds to feel positive about your body is an okay goal to have. Not everyone is the same and no one should feel shamed for wanting to be thinner and fit a more socially acceptable mold. Society is shallow, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have any right to shame someone else for what their body positive weight should be.

In unrelated news, I’ve now got a podcast I run with my younger brother. You can find us at soundcloud.com/wildaccusations. It’s a weekly podcast, released on Tuesdays (new one should be up soon). Also, follow us on instagram at wildaccusations, email us at wildaccusationspodcast@gmail.com or just use the hashtags #wildaccusations or #wildaccusationspodcast We’ll answer questions and make fun of you, probably.

My weight loss journey is still a work in progress. I’m now 107 lbs down, bouncing around the 145 mark pretty steadily. It’s all a matter of working out and weight lifting now. Find me on instagram at waistingawayhere or twitter at waistinawayhere.