Best Friends Know Best

This past week was a week of firsts. I traveled across the country all by my lonesome, arrived in a state I’d never been in and traveled around the area along side my best friend. Rarely do I get to travel distances that require an airplane ticket and rarely is it for as good a reason as last week.

My best friend of eight years–we aren’t sure the exactly time frame anymore–lives in North Carolina. She moved there from Orange County, California about a year ago. It was devastating. Don’t get me wrong, I was supportive of her and her husband taking that trek. It was important and it was good for them. I knew that. She knew that. It didn’t make me any less sad. In addition to that, it was very difficult for me to accept that life was changing faster than I knew how to deal. She told me about two months before she moved that they were moving away and that was around the time that I had just been scheduled to have my VSG surgery. My mother’s immediate response was that this couldn’t be better timed. I was sure that it then wouldn’t matter.

See, I didn’t realize that losing weight would bring back my confidence. I was sure I would lose weight and then be alone with no one to share it with it. I wouldn’t have a reason to get out of the house. I wouldn’t have a reason to show it off. I’d still be the girl who was introverted, scared and only had one friend; the difference was that the one friend was now across the country instead of with me.

However, instead of wallowing in it like I so often would, I took action. I started making plans. I started working on costume ideas, preparing for the coming months when she moved away. I knew that if I didn’t start right then, I would only let myself wither away in my tiny apartment with my cat. I didn’t want to throw my life away, hinged on the distance of a friend at the age of 26. Even I knew I was too young for that, and I have depression that wants me to think otherwise.

As many of you know, the year changed significantly. I’ve met many goals and seen my hard times, but the one constant was that even in all this, my best friend remained my best friend, even from 2,300 miles away. Finally, this past week I got to see her again and it was like none of that time and distance had happened. We picked up exactly where we left off, already starting our normal speech pattern of talking a million words a minute, usually over each other to the point that her husband stares at us in disbelief and pure confusion.

We went horseback riding, something I didn’t ever want to do 100 lbs overweight. We went hiking–admittedly a modest and relatively short trail–but hiking! We went shopping. We went to the Renaissance Faire. I never felt like things were out of place. I felt confident and I felt like all was right with the world.

And you know how I wasn’t sure about how i was feeling about my personality recently? I was afraid I was too much and had changed? Well, this is what best friends are for, people. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that the person I am now is exactly who I had always been. I was always loud and flirty and outgoing and energetic. The difference was when I got a response from someone when I weighed 250 lbs, I backed off. I hated the attention in return because how could someone want to flirt back at me? How could they see all that and think it was a good idea to engage in anything friendly and sarcastic and loud and enthusiastic? I didn’t want that attention. I didn’t think I deserved it even though I clearly demanded it. Now, I do all the same things but also know how to respond.

So thanks, Katie. That was probably a week of rest and recreation that I’ve been in desperate need of for months.